Sincerely.

I want to tell you that I think you are wonderful. I want to tell you that I am who I am today in unspoken ways – ways I don’t even know about yet – because of you in and around and throughout my life. I want to tell you that I feel welcome in this world and relevant in this world because of you. I want to tell you that I would have written this out by hand because that’s so nice and ‘personal’ but I had so many things to write, I couldn’t have been fast enough. I want you to know that I don’t like you. I love you. I want to tell you that that is so much more important and I can’t believe I forgot to put it first.

I want to tell you that I think people who make you feel un-liked are silly people with scrunched up brains and they should all have to sit in time-out in the middle of a small pool. And I will go out and tell them to think about what they’ve done and why they have to sit with their pants all wet and how I don’t care. And I will tell them they were wrong to not be careful with their words and their attitudes. And I will tell them that they should say they are sorry to you.

I should also say ‘I’m sorry’ to you. Because you came to me for a hug and it is a lot easier for me to do that with only my arms than it is with my spirit and my words. I’m sorry for that. Right after you left I thought about why I didn’t have the right words. Why I couldn’t seem to say the right thing. About the words I didn’t seem able to speak.

It is hard for me to see you hurting, which is a sad, silly, selfish excuse for not speaking from my heart. I know you are just a person like I am just a person, but you are also more than that to me. You are part of my story.

That is mostly what I wanted to say.

I am sad for you and hurt for you. I wanted to say that I will carry what I can for you and I would carry more if I could. And I will give you a hug everyday if it will make you feel better. Even on days when I feel like a slob and don’t want anyone to touch me. I will hug you even on those days.