A few months ago when I restructured my blog, I decided on a short description that runs along the top of the page. It reads: “Thoughts on living a life of faith in a world of doubt.” Arriving at those dozen or so words was a singularly important step toward the renewal of my blog project.
The reality of a world that is often discouraging and exhausting, bumping up against the idea of a faith that promises renewal and rest is a fascinating convergence to me. Those moments of collision inform my writing, both what you see and all the scraps that never make it.
I try not to make any false claims that I am actually living a model life of faith just that I am attempting to write from a perspective of faith. By doing so, I have found a means of spiritual renewal, a sort of forced transparency about how I am living my life and how I am experiencing the world in general.
But these days, I’m having a hard time living up to my mission.
In my writing, my goal has been to err on the side of forgiveness and on the side of uncertainty. It was never my purpose to tell anyone how things absolutely must be because I simply have no authority. I can speak my truth, but I can’t—and quite honestly don’t want to—speak anyone else’s.
My life, however, has taken a decidedly different turn. I constantly find myself atop the soapbox, demeaning the views and skills of those around me. I am angry often; edging on always. I seem to have forgotten my own mission in some desperate, misguided attempt at redirecting those around me.
So here is today’s thought on living a life of faith in a world of doubt. It’s hard. And it kind of sucks.
When have you found yourself missing the mark?
A GIRL'S GUIDE TO FAITH | Written by Katy Stokes | Thoughts on living a life of faith in a world of doubt.
I find myself missing the mark often as a mother and as a thinking person of faith. I would like to pat us both on the back, however, for taking the time to reflect on how we can be better. It is easy to get stuck on the fact that we aren't where we want to be, but it is important to not stay there in that self-loathing place. Sometimes you have to cut your losses five times before breakfast and keep starting fresh. I am lucky that God and children forgive so quickly and easily. If only I could give myself that gift.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget how great you are. Everybody's grouchy sometimes. Everyone gets angry. And, of course, everybody poops.
I happen to be a big fan of Katy, just for the record.