wisdom.

I am in the process of reading "Organic God" by Margaret Feinberg and while there are only ten chapters in the entire book, I'm finding myself sucked in on almost every page. I'm reading and re-reading paragraphs that seem to apply so much to my life. I couldn't go on without putting some of those things on here and I certainly hope I won't break any copyright rules along the way...

From the chapter: "Amazingly Wise" --

Wisdom is more than just practical know-how. Wisdom illuminates a better way to live, and even allows us to consider the best possible way to live. Wisdom is so smart that it doesn't travel alone. Wisdom's companions include understanding, knowledge, counsel, discernment, discretion, justice, and equity. It's hard to find wisdom apart from its cohorts. ...

If wisdom is the handle and fabric of an umbrella, then its companions serve as spokes, offering protection from whatever comes--rain-driven storms or the heat of the day. Like an umbrella, wisdom can also be used like a cane when the journey of life becomes steep and our steps become unsure.

Amazingly Wise is the fourth chapter in Feinberg's "Organic God" and it eloquently talks about wisdom and proverbs and prayer. Parts of Margaret's undergraduate experience are captured beautifully here, including an inspiring story of taking a class from the great writer and leader Maya Angelou.

Feinberg took this class at Wake Forest University and this is one of those small pieces that are drawing me in. I only discovered the existence of Wake Forest last year when one of my closest friends moved practically next door to the campus. As small as it seems, I felt affirmed and assured when I read this story--like somehow it was meant to speak to me and here was one tiny, almost hidden clue.

But it was Feinberg's faithful journey that brought her to Wake Forest that really captured me. In her first few paragraphs, she admits her deep desire for acceptance from Georgetown and the work she put toward that application. After the second round of SATs, Feinberg writes: "Neither my parents, myself, nor Georgetown were impressed."

But even before that, before she had fully set out on college applications and extra-extracurricular activites, she had prayed one simple, profound prayer:

Dear God, let me know which school you want me to get into by only allowing me acceptance to one and rejection from the other three.

Wouldn't you know it? She received acceptance from only one school -- Wake Forest University. This example of faith in the journey and trust in the organic God to answer prayer is humbling and enlightening. And it's this deep and humbling faith that I need to find in my own life. For some time now, I have been filling my days looking toward a vague future in ministry.You can ask, but my answer continues to be non-committal and vague. I don’t know what I’m doing or working toward or see on the horizon. And prayer? My prayers continue to be equally non-committal and vague. Perhaps I haven’t found that deep and assuring trust that Margaret’s prayer reflects.

Will I someday be able to ask God to remove the wrong paths? My head is full of examples of God’s grace and power and constancy. But my heart is still weak and afraid—a statement I make with no little pain and some embarrassment. Will I somehow find a way to face God with my greatest fear—that I am not equipped to rise to the level God calls me to?