Simply put

I think when I started this blog it was as a way for me to practice getting thoughts in order on 'paper' (or in this case a computer screen). Honestly, I'm not exactly sure what compelled me, but I wanted a new blog.

It's like that feeling you get when you buy a new notebook and write on the very first page--anything seems possible at the beginning--'maybe this notebook will be the one I finally write a book on' or 'surely this notebook will help me organize my schedules.' In school it was more about the start of classes or a new subject. Always it was the beginning and what would follow was unknown.

With a blog there isn't really a road-map the way there was in school. Instead, I pressure myself when it comes to a blog. Is it a diary? Is it a place for 'innermost thoughts'? I don't think so, because let's be honest. This is one of the most public forums available. Depending on your settings, anyone in the world can access these thoughts. Anyone who uses an online blog as a diary is setting themselves up.

Instead, perhaps this is a soapbox? (As in, get down off your soapbox!) If that's the case, than there aren't any rules, outside of my own, and I get to be right about everything. While that appeals to me as much as the next person, I don't think I want a place where I can be right about everything. (No really - that's true!)

For me, my grand hope for a blog (this one or any other) is that I can make it a jumping off point for my thoughts about the world around me. How do I fit? Where are the moments that clarify for me what my place is? Still, at other times, this is a place to land. A place to put down the answers I might have found that day. Perhaps the answers won't be 'permanent' but I don't think much in life is permanent.

I guess what I'm saying is this; if I use a voice that is too strong at times or hold a position that seems too immovable or judgmental--well, I hope I won't. I'm not an immovable or judgmental person, but the written word is awfully different from the hands-flailing type of communication I normally participate in. I just know that I am tired of being diplomatic. I'm tired of having strong thoughts but watered-down speech.

So, should anyone ever actually read this, I hope you'll give me a chance.