I know it's cliche... but where does the time go? I'll be back with a more 'thoughtful' update, but it's been a busy couple weeks. Things are slowing down though so I can catch up with all sorts of day-to-day stuff! (I need to introduce my dishes to a sponge...)

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you--the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Best Laid Plans

Sometimes it feels like everything around me is about schedules.

At the coffee shop, it's about scheduling shifts over the week: Who needs this day off? Who can only work in the morning? Who can work but is probably going to be hungover?

At the church, it's about scheduling events over the course of a year: When will new members join? Which choir is singing on each Sunday? When is it NOT a three-day weekend, to schedule the children's groups?

If it's not about actual Sunday morning worship, it's all the special events that happen. Soon it becomes less about 'schedules' and more about 'conflicts.' Then you're really in trouble. Don't schedule one choir because the other choir is available. Don't put that special event at the start of deer season. Aren't most kids gone at camp... do you really want that activity scheduled? Or I like this best: let's schedule a meeting to talk about these schedules. (Yeah; I have so much free time to do that.)

I just went through most of last year's files and pulled a year-long music schedule, three or four different choir schedules, my own personal schedule, the proposed school-year schedule, events that conflicted during last year's schedules..... Oy. All to come up with more schedules.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything wrong with having an organized schedule. In fact, one of my favorite things to do is to sit down with my day-planner and look at an upcoming week. It sits open in front of me and I can fill in little appointments, draw arrows during my coffee shop shifts, write down little to-do notes on the appropriate days. There is a sense of excitement as I take in everything that I hope to accomplish in the coming days. (Also, my brain is so full of senseless information that there is no way I would keep anything straight without my not-so-little black book.)

But.

What about those time-slots with no appointments, no arrows, no shifts? This is where I have my problem. I have become so accustomed to filling my days with 'business' or indeed 'busy-ness' that I feel guilty about unscheduled time.

Unwashed laundry, dirty dishes, and an empty refrigerator is the practical result of my need to fill my days. I'm nit-wit enough to become caught up in the To-dos of each day that my internal pendulum swings too far and I don't do anything that's NOT in my to-dos. I mean really? Should I really have to write down 'wash your dishes'?

And in my faith-life... oh boy. I schedule church. I schedule bible-study. I schedule choir practice. I work at a church, so I even have scheduled meetings in scheduled rooms with scheduled prayer. It's not like it's forced on me, it's just right there. I know it's coming. I'm ready, I'm prepared, I've drawn my arrow and reserved that time.

Now, scheduling time for faith, meditation, fasting, study, etc., I don't think that's bad. In fact, most leaders in my life have pointed out the importance of setting aside time for those things. When we do that, we are making a choice to hold our faith and spiritual life to a high importance. But in my life, it is sometimes the opposite. I can get so caught up in doing my 'job', that all of my scheduled 'faith' time is about just that - a job.

Our yearly 'gathering of the schedules' and the related upcoming meetings will this year serve another purpose for me. As I look forward and begin to plan for the months ahead, I will embrace those 'unscheduled' blocks of time. When I see an hour without an arrow, I will not seek out a new appointment. Instead, I will think of what amazing and spontaneous things might happen when that hour is at hand. Perhaps I will feel like a walk at the nature center, maybe I'll go to this great hill I know and fly a kite, or I could open a book I haven't 'had time' to read.

Life is full of opportunities, I'm learning. It just takes a little planning ... or perhaps a little un-planning.

Simply put

I think when I started this blog it was as a way for me to practice getting thoughts in order on 'paper' (or in this case a computer screen). Honestly, I'm not exactly sure what compelled me, but I wanted a new blog.

It's like that feeling you get when you buy a new notebook and write on the very first page--anything seems possible at the beginning--'maybe this notebook will be the one I finally write a book on' or 'surely this notebook will help me organize my schedules.' In school it was more about the start of classes or a new subject. Always it was the beginning and what would follow was unknown.

With a blog there isn't really a road-map the way there was in school. Instead, I pressure myself when it comes to a blog. Is it a diary? Is it a place for 'innermost thoughts'? I don't think so, because let's be honest. This is one of the most public forums available. Depending on your settings, anyone in the world can access these thoughts. Anyone who uses an online blog as a diary is setting themselves up.

Instead, perhaps this is a soapbox? (As in, get down off your soapbox!) If that's the case, than there aren't any rules, outside of my own, and I get to be right about everything. While that appeals to me as much as the next person, I don't think I want a place where I can be right about everything. (No really - that's true!)

For me, my grand hope for a blog (this one or any other) is that I can make it a jumping off point for my thoughts about the world around me. How do I fit? Where are the moments that clarify for me what my place is? Still, at other times, this is a place to land. A place to put down the answers I might have found that day. Perhaps the answers won't be 'permanent' but I don't think much in life is permanent.

I guess what I'm saying is this; if I use a voice that is too strong at times or hold a position that seems too immovable or judgmental--well, I hope I won't. I'm not an immovable or judgmental person, but the written word is awfully different from the hands-flailing type of communication I normally participate in. I just know that I am tired of being diplomatic. I'm tired of having strong thoughts but watered-down speech.

So, should anyone ever actually read this, I hope you'll give me a chance.

Faith in Action

It seems to me that whenever I'm part of a study, the scripture we are dealing with suddenly becomes relevant to everything around me. Out of the blue I begin to see a connection from John's vision of Rome in the book of Revelation, to our own over-consumption and mistreatment of power here in the United States. Before Christmas, we read through some of Isaiah and the message of the season deepened into a much more mysterious, ultimate feeling of truth.

Recently my young adult group began a study of the book of Acts. From my readings, there seems to be a debate about whether Luke or John is the author of this book. Either way, Acts follows the Gospels not just in the Bible, but it is historically chronological as well. (Basically, Acts picks up where MML&J leave off.) This time, the stick-with me passage is this:

"All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals, and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.

"They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and sincere hearts—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved."
-Acts 2:42-47 (New Living Translation)

In my bible translation (NIV) this section is also referred to by: "Fellowship of Believers." These few verses essentially describe a healthy church - what it takes to be one, what it will look like when you are one, and how a healthy church is sustainable. The question was put forward: Is it possible today to have community as described here in the first days of Christianity? What would this 'fellowship' really look like and do we see similar communities in our world?

I am often very cynical but have rare moments of idealism and optimism. In terms of my personality, I am definitely a glass-half-full kind of gal, but in matters of religion and faith ... well, just make sure whatever's in your glass is water not kool-aid.

Anyway, when I consider this passage, I am struck with rare optimism. Certainly there must have been a feeling of urgency within Peter and John, and in all the apostles, that they needed to communicate the message and truth they had witnessed and been part of. These men had lived with Christ, shared meals with him, listened daily to his words and teachings. They knew Jesus in the casually intimate way that friends have with one another, and they had seen him die for all to see--their teacher, friend and savior. And then they had seen him after death. When he should have been decomposing in a tomb, Jesus was instead seen alive by many people, including his grief-stricken friends and disciples.

In this passage of Acts, Peter has already given a great speech which has brought 3,000+ people into this fellowship. Maybe some would say this is the early church, although the 'early church' is not in my opinion related to the way our churches seem today. What is so important to me to read though, is the hope this passage gives to me as a leader in today's church.

"They worshiped together...met in homes...shared their meals with great joy and sincere hearts—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved." (paraphrase)

People saw joy in the celebration and praise of God--they were drawn into that joy because of the clearly positive effect it had on Christ-followers.

A friend told me of a devotion she had read on this same passage.

Put in my own words:
Think of confetti. It conjures images of joy, happiness, being with friends. Confetti is made of many different pieces, if seperated those pieces would be considered garbage or litter. But together, confetti exudes a joy that draws us together and invites others closer.

I think we could all use a little more confetti in our churches and in our lives.

Renting a Room

Every Tuesday I meet with four other women at my church to discuss a redesign project for our church website. We just started about a month ago on what is proving to be a big project. (Who knew I'd have to explain that "site map" is not some phrase I made up?)

Anyway, yesterday when we met we brought with us some pros & cons we've found browsing around the beloved world wide web. My favorite: One church website included a link to "Rentals." Announced across the top of the page--

"My Father's house has many rooms....
Some of those rooms are for rent."

I found this hilarious. As I thought of it later during my car ride home, I remembered this Audio Adrenaline song "Big House":

All I know, it's a big ol' house with rooms for everyone.
All I know, it's lots of land where we can play and run.
All I know is you need love and I've got a family.
All I know is you're all alone, so why not come with me?

The theme here being that there is a place for everyone in God's house. I've always looked at this passage as one of those after-life, heavenward, i'n't-that-so-sweet-with-the-angels-singin' metaphors. What if instead we thought of our God-rooms as in the here and now?

I've recently been rearranging furniture in my house. Spring always causes me to 'nest.' Whenever I rearrange a room, I feel a renewal each time I'm in the space. My bedroom is always first. Waking up to a new view after so many dreary, gray winter mornings makes a remarkable change in the way I face each day.

I think we could all use a little 'rearranging' after a long time with the same view. If you were to peek at your room in that party-house in Heaven, what do you suppose it would look like? What posters would line the walls? Maybe they'd be full of pictures, blue ribbons, coloring book pages, deer heads, those fuzzy paint-by-number things.... Perhaps you'd take a page from HDTV and have a boldly painted 'accent wall' and tastefully decorated, feng-shuied space.

Certainly there isn't any right or wrong answer (although the deer head thing is a little icky). I think more importantly the question is do we, as the church-link infers, think of our rooms--our 'rentals'--as rooms in the Father's house? In our houses of worship and spiritual spaces, do we take stock as a visitor or an owner?

Perhaps one person on this earth who truly understood what it was to be a visitor was Jesus. He was undeniably a visitor each day of his last years on earth, as he traveled from city to city, household to household. Before his trial and ultimate execution, Jesus spoke to his disciples and in an effort to comfort them, was recorded as saying this:

"...There is more than enough room in my Father’s home.
If this were not so, would I have told you that
I am going to prepare a place for you?
When everything is ready, I will come and get you,
so that you will always be with me where I am."
-John 14:2-3 (New Living Translation)

I like this statement of there being 'more than enough room' for everyone. We find ourselves in a bankrupt climate of mortgage crises, poor real estate markets and remarkably high rental prices. Now, as always, it is so important to have a clear view of the 'house' that is God's house. In God's house, there are many, many rooms; there are rooms even beyond what are needed--more than enough room. It is a big, big house where you find love and family. Do our church homes hold true to that standard? Do we find room for everyone?

If indeed we are just visitors, as Christ was, and trust that he has gone ahead to prepare a place for us, is it so much to think that we should work as hard to prepare a place for him? Each year more and more people turn away from what is seen as 'the church' because it's become dilapidated housing. It is no longer a comforting shelter from the storm or a welcoming beacon in the night. I'm not so sure we've 'kept a light on' for seekers so much as we've slapped up a No Vacancy sign.

We most definitely do not invite visitors to slap up some wallpaper, hang up their favorite posters, paint little blue checks on the ceiling, or even, dare I say, nail up one of those singing fish things. Metaphorically speaking, I don't think we ask or expect people to 'make themselves at home.'

As Christ-followers who should strive to be seeker-friendly, that is just what we should invite people to do. Who knows? Maybe that next person with the 'crazy' ideas will do just the rearranging we need for a clear, refreshing view. Certainly if God can hold a room for each of us in his house, we can make room for a few more in ours.

Introductions are always in style

We'll call this the preface to my blog... some introductions for any interested folks out there.

Like many my age, I have more than one job and I love them both. I am, on one hand, the music coordinator at a good sized church in mid-Michigan. With the other hand, I am a "barista" (fancy for coffee-maker) at an independent shoppe down the street from my church.

I grew up here ... in this city, in my church, and at this coffee shop (where I'm currently beginning this blog-venture). I never considered myself a "hometown" kind of girl, but I suppose that's what I've become. You'll have to take my word for it, but a circular path was not what I set out upon.

Here is where I am though and happy with it for now.