Note: As a result from the combination of watching too much "Brave New World" (slam poetry) and working to break through this writer's block.... my most recent attempt at a new post very quickly gained rhythm and rhyme. It is somewhat without the same meaning when it is written and not spoken, but I'm still posting it as proof that I have in fact been trying to write.
Inside me is the small and tiny truth that speaks out to why I live like this.
Because I feel like this.
Because maybe I think I deserve this.
A space so cluttered with garbage and trash and dirt that it makes my head spin
and physically forces me out before I’m ever really in.
That small and tiny voice has become my daily enemy and I’m fighting.
Fighting to keep my sanity and my spirituality.
Today I am going to begin to listen to that voice more carefully
and recognize its cry for help.
The crying out to help myself
out from under this mess where I’ve stored myself.
I will remember to listen to me,
to be a friend to me,
to be the life I was created to be.
I will see God’s child in me and not God’s enemy.
I will clean and wipe and sanitize and take time out from other, lesser things.
Things I do to earn my place but have become just time I waste.
I will write and dream and think out loud,
unashamed of what comes out
because who I am is good enough.
Who I am is strong enough and smart enough.
And who I am is made of tougher stuff.
Who I am will listen to me
and be that friend to me.
That small and tiny place will be erased
and I will rise up,
rise above and love the me in me.
I will learn again to know the truth and see
that I am not God’s enemy.
I will forgive and see that what I have, I am,
God’s child in me.
I will embrace and love and see that who I am, whose I have come to be:
God’s child in me and not God’s enemy.
